On Being Thankful

7/26/2012

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What makes us thankful in our daily lives? Hot water, food in the fridge, a car that starts the first time? Those are all perfectly wonderful things to be thankful for but what do we really need to be thankful for? Being able to wake up each morning, being healthy, and having family and friends around you that make you feel good and are supportive is what I believe we should be truly thankful for. I am extremely thankful for all of those things and so much more.

Life is not always easy, is it? We are all put through trials and sometimes it seems like we are forced to endure more than we are able to. Sometimes we suffer because we are sick with physical ailments that bring us down. Other times we go through trials that include things like our job or our families. It is never easy and every once in awhile it brings us down so far we can longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. What do you do when you get to that point? Where do you turn? Who do you turn to for help when you feel like there is no help? I will tell you where I turn when I get like this: I put my worries, cares, and self in God's hands. I give him all of me and my cares when I can no longer carry them and I allow him to take them and let him guide me where He feels that I need to go.

Let me tell you how He has helped me and my family.

In 2003 I had gastric bypass surgery and was in ICU for two weeks because of complications. My parents and sister sent out requests for prayers for me while I was so very sick and because of the Doctor's help and God's answers to so many prayers I am still here. After I recovered from this surgery I realized I had a large abdominal hernia that needed to be repaired so I went back to surgery. Fortunately the surgery went fine but when I got home my incision opened and left with me an infection. I had to return to surgery 10 times over the course of the next five years in order to repair the hernia that I had acquired from the initial gastric bypass. Many prayers were said for me and my family during this time and although I know God was listening I sometimes felt like I was all alone and that I would never be healthy again. Last summer I got down on my knees and prayed for God to carry me. I prayed that I could no longer carry this burden alone and that I needed some help and He answered. A friend of my Mom's is a nurse in Dallas and knew of a surgeon that she thought would be able to help fix my abdomen once and for all. Thankfully my parents were willing to help me get from Missouri to Dallas to see the surgeon and I was once again in surgery and then in ICU for just a few days this time around. But, all to the glory of God, I have been hernia free for almost an entire year. I did have to have a small 11th surgery in January because I had a large pocket under my skin that would not close but it is now almost healed! I only have to wear 1 small bandage now which is so much better than the 7 large bandages I had at one time. So to say that I am Thankful to not only be alive but to be almost completely healed is an under statement!

Because I have been so sick for so long my ability to work has been pretty much nil and void. I worked for the first couple of years out of determination not to admit that I was sick and that I really had something wrong going on. Then when it got so bad that I couldn't work any longer I went into a depression that I was afraid I was never going to be able to come back from. I tried teaching for a year and although I really enjoyed it I was not able to continue because I was still in a lot of pain. I tried going back to school to work on my master's degree so that I could teach full time when I got better but because I was not working I could not afford to go back to school full time so I was kind of stuck.

I have spent the last several months reading and writing blogs and reviews for new independent authors that I have met on my many hours spent on Facebook. I have met so many wonderful people and have made some really awesome friends. Friends that have encouraged, inspired, and lifted me up with words of optimism and advice on what I might do for the next adventure in my life.

I met a friend that I started helping by editing a book that she was getting ready to self publish. She really appreciated my help and made the suggestion that I should look into helping other independent authors that might need editing help and so I talked to my husband and my family and we decided that it might be a good business for me to start. So after some research and talks with other online editors I decided to start my own online editing business. I posted about the possibility that I was going to start this venture and was rewarded with lots of love and support from friends and family and I really felt good about the way it all came together. I had not had my website up for a whole 24 hours before I was approached by several people about the services that I offered.

This was definitely a God send. I will be able to stay home and continue to heal, help my husband take care of his grandmother and mom, and be around for my family if and when they need some help. I am truly blessed and feel excited about the new chapter that I have started. You know the saying when God shuts one door he opens another or a window. I finally feel like I have found the door or window that God had ready for me. So I am thankful for all of this and so much more! 

to be continued...
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But You Don't Look Sick!

5/3/2012

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Sorry to my sister Jenni but I stole her title to this blog! My sister has cardiomyopothy. Not sure if I spelled that correctly or not but I am going to go with it. She was diagnosed a year after her twins were born almost four year ago. To look at her outwardly you can't really tell that she is sick but inside her poor heart is "broken." In other words it doesn't pump like it should. She has had to start taking a lot of different meds that have left her depressed and extremely tired. Now she is on complete disability and can no longer work and even has a handicapped sticker in her mini van. She relayed to me the other day that as she parked in a handicapped spot at Wal-Mart and then got her three kids out of the car she overheard someone say "Why is she parked in a handicapped spot, maybe she is just driving her grandmother's car and is too lazy to park in a regular spot for someone who really needs it."

Well, in my opinion that is harsh! They don't know my sister or what she is going through. They can't even begin to understand her difficulties and how she has to sometimes drag herself out of bed in the morning because her chest hurts and she is so tired she just wants to sleep but she knows that she has three wonderful children that depend on her and a husband that needs her. Why are people so mean sometimes? Why do they have to be hateful and judgmental when they do not have the first clue as to what they are saying about someone they don't even know.

I know that with my health issues it has not always been easy to convince people that I have been sick. When Cody and I first got married, the abdominal hernia I had was not too bad but it hurt and so we attempted to have in surgically fixed and when that went bad I went from not too bad to almost dead in less than two years. And still people told my husband or I would over hear someone say "well she doesn't look sick, I think she is just making it up so she doesn't have to do something or she is just trying to get attention." I even had a doctor tell me after I had six open and draining wounds on my abdomen, "well, yeah they need to be fixed but the infection in them won't kill you, so why don't you loose some more weight and come back and we will talk later."

Let me tell you how hard it is to loose weight when you hurt so bad some days you can't drag yourself out of bed or you are so depressed that even your puppy dog just wants to lay next to you and let you pet him and you don't even want to do that.

A year after that doctor visit I went to TN to visit with my family and my Mom took one look at me and immediately wanted me to go to the ER because I really and truly looked like death warmed over. The doctor that saved my life that year said that I would have not made it much longer and was glad that I had come in because I would have been dead by Christmas.

So three surgeries later and two more trips into ICU I finally feel just a little better. I have more energy now than I have had in a couple of years but I am still not out of the woods yet. I still have an open wound on my abdomen and although it looks to be healing with my track record we can never be sure.

Granted I have had enough prayers and emotional support from my family and friends but it is sometimes hard to get out of bed each day because of what I have been through and I just want it to be over. I know my sister feels the same.

Unfortunately my health problems hopefully can be eventually overcome but hers will never be fixed. We pray everyday that her heart will grow stronger and that she will not have to have a pacemaker or heart transplant but those possibilities are always in the back of your mind and so we continue to pray and try and lift her and her spirit up! 

So next time you are at the grocery store and see a young person (below the age of 60) park in a handicapped parking space and look pretty healthy don't make snide remarks or assume they are borrowing an older person's vehicle! They may have a heart condition or something that makes them hurt all day and cannot get around like everyone else!

Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that you have a blessed day and remember "A hug a day keeps the blues away!"
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A Tale of Two Tails!

4/30/2012

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OK, so is it just me or are there too many words that are spelled differently but sound exactly the same?What are they called? Oh, yes, homonyms or homophones. I wish I could time travel back to when the English language was being devised and convince who ever decided that it was a good idea to use different spellings for words that sound the same, that in fact it was not such a hot idea because all it would do is confuse me!

Let me explain why I have decided to rant about this subject today. I wrote an earlier blog and my mother was reading it and realized that I had inadvertently used the incorrect spelling of the word "tail." I was trying to say that something was on someone's "tail" and instead said that something was on someone's "tale." OK so maybe the tale should have been told about the tail but I digress.

I know growing up, I always had trouble with some other words that sounded the same but were spelled differently. For example: where and were, since and sense, to, too and two, loose and lose, tail and tale (obviously!), their and there, sea and see, bow and bough, and lead and led. I could go on and on but I have a feeling you catch my drift!

Why do we have to have difficulty when it comes to talking and writing? Couldn't they have just used the same spelling and given us a way to tell the difference when we spoke or wrote something down? That way when I typed my daily blog I would have have to listen to my Mom heckle me about having used the incorrect version of a specific word. Now my Mom would argue that she enjoys heckling me just so she can say she has done her daily harassment and has accomplished her job!

There are many more complaints I could make about the English language but it would probably not serve any more purpose than this one did. I don't think that anyone in control (I am not really sure who that would be anyway) would be willing to listen to a stay at home wife complain about what she doesn't like about certain words that are a bane to her blog and really be willing to do anything about it even if they could!

Oh well, if nothing else, maybe this allowed you to smile just a little while sitting at your computer trying not to work too hard! So just remember when you go to use one of the words that sound exactly the same but are spelled differently that you are not alone in your own hatred of these words!

Maybe one of these days I will start a petition to get these words cut out of the English language. What do you think? Think this would work? No? Probably not!

Oh, well I guess I will keep writing and confusing these words and my Mom will keep heckling me! If it gives her something to do then I have done my job! Right?! 

"Hear" is my tip for the day: A Hug A Day Will Keep The Blues Away!
(Did you notice that I gave my Mom another reason to heckle me? "Here and Hear" Another one of those silly homophones!)
Love you Mom!

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A Journey To Find ME!

4/24/2012

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People come and go through your life and sometimes they become great friends, some become family and others move on. Life is not always simple but the people you surround yourself with are the people that you become like and you emulate whether you want to or not.
I have not always been the person that I am now. No one starts out as the person they become because we all have to evolve and over come obstacles in our lives. I consider myself to be a good person. I am fun to be around or so I am told. I love people and I enjoy others company. I like to give more than to receive and I live to make others around me happy.
I have come a long way from where I was 10 years ago. I am not even sure I would have liked me then if I had met myself now. But like I said we all evolve and overcome.
I have finally learned to like myself in the past couple of years. I honestly think that is where a person must start to learn how to become the person he/she wants to be. It has not been easy to learn to like myself. I have never been as confident or as outgoing as I think now that I should have been. But I know now that it doesn't take beauty or smarts or money to make you who you are. It takes love of life and being happy where you are and with what you have.
When I was growing up my parents insisted that my sister and I were at church twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday night. Although I rebelled and did not think that this was very important at the time I feel like I finally know and understand why my parents wanted my sister and I at church every week. It wasn't just to learn the "Golden Rule" or to learn about all of the books of the Bible or to hear sermons about Jesus walking on Water, although these are very important lessons, it was the influences of the people that we went to church with. It was the teachers, the elders, the deacons, the preacher, and all of the Godly people that helped to guide us. And, now, looking back it was not a lesson that was taught in a classroom or from a pulpit it was just watching the way the members of our church treated each other and how they lived their lives. I know now that all of the people that I came into contact with while I was growing up in the church have had definite impacts on how I now want to live my life and how I want to treat others.
I may never become the President of the United States or a multimillionaire but I know that I will leave a mark on someone's life because of the lessons I have learned and because of the obstacles I have overcome. I know God has a plan for me and I am now on a mission to do whatever he has planned. Someone once told me that when you tell God your plans He laughs because He has your true plan and you must listen and follow him in order to find the path He wants you to take.
So I have started on a journey to find the path that God wants me to follow and I hope to share my lessons and my obstacles with you and I pray that my journey might help you. Whether through inspiration or just a good laugh I hope you will join me and see where my path leads.
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First Post!

4/24/2012

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Start blogging by creating a new post. You can edit or delete me by clicking under the comments. You can also customize your sidebar by dragging in elements from the top bar.
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